October 21, 2006: Kikuyu Marriage Ceremony

Customarily, when two Kikuyu are ready to be married, the groom sends a mzee to the home of the bride to discuss the prospects of marrying the two. I get the impression that the mzee is very subtle with his language when speaking with the parents. He will say things like, “this young man has spied a very beautiful flower growing at your home”.

A fraction of the total number of people we fit in the Land Crusier. Isaac's mom, Wanjiku is on the far right

Isaac and Beth didn’t quite follow tradition; instead Beth’s parents just found her one day living Isaac’s home instead of their home. Beth and Isaac decided to go ahead and do things properly even though they have been together for a while – Susan is around four years old. One of the main parts of doing things properly is that Isaac needed to pay the dowry to Beth’s parents. I lucked out again and was invited to join Isaac and family on the day of the marriage ceremony.
Unfortunately the weather for the day again called for canoes instead of t-shirts. I rode out to Isaac’s home around 11:30 am and met with his cousin along the way. About half way to Isaac’s house we pulled off the road to someone’s house to hide under the awning while a burst of rain passed.
Outside of Isaac’s house was a swamp, but inside was filled with relative’s getting ready for the day. Beth and Paul’s wife (also Beth) were sowing the last bits together for the dress of Paul’s daughter, while Isaac was wandering around making sure the last details were ready. There are only two vehicles for hire in Mpeketoni so transporting 17 of us to Beth’s parents house was not a simple task. Can you guess how many vehicles and how many trips it took to get us all to their house? Yep, you guessed it: one vehicle, one trip, four cases of sodas, and 17 people crammed like sardines into a Red Cross Land Cruiser.

From L to R: Isaac's Mzee Joel, Isaacs cousin Charles, Isaacs brothers Jeff and Paul

The good thing was that the trip was relatively short – it took only about thirty minutes of beat up roads to get out to Beth’s parent’s house. Issac’s brother Paul kept asking me how I liked Mpeketoni’s airplane. “Turbulent”, I told him, “turbulent.” When we arrived Beth’s family greeted us in the compound and immediately invited us into the house. Not surprisingly, cramming all of Beth’s family and us into the house somewhat resembled the configuration of the Land Cruiser. The plushest chairs were reserved for the two wazee, one spokesman for the groom and one for the bride’s family. Again all of it was in Kikuyu so I didn’t follow much of what was going on. What I do know is that we ate a lot of food.
Once we were settled in the house and had introduced ourselves the bride’s family served mukimo a stiff version of mashed potatoes mixed with a few greens, corn, and beans. The best part is that they just walked around the room and plopped a hunk of mukimo into our hands. No plates, no napkins, and no silverware to clean up afterward. Mukimo is served to signify the host welcoming the guests into the house. During traditional ceremonies like this you are not welcomed unless you are served mukimo.

From L to R: Issacs cousin and the man himself - Isaac.

The main course followed the mukimo. We were each served a heaping plate of rice with goat meat and potatoes. During the meal there was quite a bit of teasing and laughter going back and forth. The mzee for Isaac, Joel, kept putting his potatoes on Paul’s plate forcing him to eat more and more so as not to be rude to the hosts.
After the main course the rain died down so we moved all of the furniture out into the compound. Even before getting a chance to sit down we were already served with more food: this time chipati and chai (tea).
Joel then asked for a shallow basket. He pulled out the money that Isaac had given him earlier and counted it out into the basket. He then passed it on to the mzee for Beth’s family. The mzee for Beth’s family again counted out the money, this time spreading out the money in the basket to signify that it was a large amount of money. He passed the basket on to Beth’s parents to count it one last time. The mzee for Beth’s parents then announced a few other items that they demanded as part of the dowry. After a little bit of deliberation, Joel decided to discuss things with Isaac’s brothers and his mom. They went off to one side to huddle while Beth’s family went to off to huddle on the other side. Neither Isaac nor Beth were involved in any of the deliberations.

Isaacs wife Beth is in the middle and thier daughter Susan is on the right

When they all came back they reached a consensus and any other demands were met with a monetary equivalent payment to the parents. Once both sides were satisfied Isaacs aunts were asked to bring the sodas. The opening the sodas was the last step to symbolize of the completion of the dowry. After a few minutes we saw that the aunts were deliberating outside the doors of the house. Beth’s family had moved the sodas into the house and then locked the doors. If they wanted to get inside, they were going to have to pay for the key. Isaac had expected he would be wrung out for money in this way so he had already given money to his aunts in case such things would happen.

Susan and Mama Susan

After paying for the key to the house, they brought out the sodas and I brought out the camera. No one was in the mood for a huge group photo so Beth asked me to just take pictures of everyone as they were. It seemed that the best way to get your picture taken was either to be seen drinking a soda or opening one of the sodas. I was one of the few weirdos that just smiled and looked at the camera.

The ladies: the wife of Jeff (I cannot remember her name), Beth, and Pauls wife Beth

On a somewhat unrelated note, as we were waiting for the Red Cross vehicle to come back and pick us up a few young males came by trying to sell meat. They were drunk from some of the local moonshine but even the smell of their breath couldn’t mask the smell of the meat. One had a chuck of the meat hanging from the handlebars of his bike. It was a purplish, gray, green color. It turns out a hippo had died in Lake Kenyatta not far from Beth’s parents home. These young men decided to push the rotting carcass to shore and slaughter it for dog food. They said all you’d have to do is boil it and get the temperature of the meat up to 60 C and it should be fine. I think I’d rather have matumbo ya mbuzi.